Two Pigeons

Year: 2017

Actors: Javier Botet, Mandeep Dhillon, Kola Bokinni

Duration: 80 min

Two pigeons jostling for a sizable chunk of bread outside of a flat. A clever bird's eye view of the modestly-sized flat is owned by Hussein (Mim Shaikh). Though he's a dapper-looking real estate agent, he is also a rather slovenly individual, from the way he brushes his teeth in the nude while on the toilet, to the precarious stack of dishes in his sink. After he goes off to work for the day, a still falls over the flat. A pale set of spindly fingers curl around the bedroom door, and Orlan (Javier Botet) warily emerges. His emaciated frame is anything but imposing, Orlan wields his skeletal body with considerable swagger for maximum repulsion. Orlan goes through the same morning routine, using Hussein's electric toothbrush and wiping his nethers with Hussein's face towel. He eats a bowl of cereal taking only a spoonful of cereal from each of several boxes. He spends his day reading and using book pages as toilet paper. Hussein arrives home, calls a potential buyer on a real estate deal and orders a pizza for delivery. That evening, he watches some porn, gets a call from a girlfriend who he schedules to pick up at the airport and smokes some marijuana before heading to bed. As Hussein slumbers, Orlan again emerges. He drinks the remaining Coca-Cola from a bottle, practices nunchucks while watching silent television and then sneaks into Hussein's bedroom and moves his alarm clock time from 8am to 9 am.Hussein gets up late and must rush out the door. Orlan makes tea with the used tea bags on the stove and replaces the milk he uses with water. While practicing tai chi, he spills an ashtray in which he meticulously replaces the contents. He replaces the post-it note with different information regarding Hussein's girlfriend's airport arrival. He sees two pigeons on the window sill in which he relates his own difficulty in finding a new flat for his growing family. He plays guitar and sings in Spanish lying on the bed and smoked Hussein's roaches.Hussein finds spoiled milk, cleans his apartment, and pressures a potential client to pay him a 15 percent commission. That evening Hussain's brother Sonny (Kola Bokinni) visits and they talk about his brother's casting call as well as Hussein's willingness to eat bacon and breaking halal restrictions. Orlan takes Hussein's credit card information that night. The next day, Hussein does laundry and cleans his apartment when his girlfriend's phone call alerts him she has arrived and he isn't at the rendezvous location. He leaves immediately, upset with himself.With Hussein out of the house, Orlan gargles and replaces it in the bottle, changes his pair of socks and leaves his used pair hidden under Hussein's bed. He stages a spill in the apartment and invites the two pigeons on the window sill in. Hussein arrives home with Mel and she is immediately startled by the pigeons.Two pigeons jostling for a sizable chunk of bread outside of a flat. A clever bird's eye view of the modestly sized flat is owned by Hussein (Mim Shaikh). Though he is a dapper-looking real estate agent, he is also a rather slovenly individual, from the way he brushes his teeth in the nude while on the toilet, to the precarious stack of dishes in his sink. After he goes off to work for the day, a still falls over the flat. A pale set of spindly fingers curl around the bedroom door, and Orlan (Javier Botet) warily emerges. His emaciated frame is anything but imposing, Orlan wields his skeletal body with considerable swagger for maximum repulsion. Orlan goes through the same morning routine, using Hussein's electric toothbrush and wiping his nethers with Hussein's face towel. He eats a bowl of cereal taking only a spoonful of cereal from each of several boxes. He spends his day reading and using book pages as toilet paper. Hussein arrives home, calls a potential buyer on a real estate deal and orders a pizza for delivery. That evening, he watches some porn, gets a call from a girlfriend who he schedules to pick up at the airport and smokes some marijuana before heading to bed. As Hussein slumbers, Orlan again emerges. Orlan drinks the remaining Coca-Cola from a bottle, practices nunchucks while watching silent television, and then sneaks into Hussein's bedroom and moves his alarm clock time from 8 a.m. to 9 a.m. Hussein gets up late and must rush out the door. Orlan makes tea with the used tea bags on the stove and replaces the milk he uses with water. While practicing tai chi, he spills an ashtray in which he meticulously replaces the contents. He replaces the post-it note with different information regarding Hussein's girlfriend's airport arrival. He sees two pigeons on the window sill. To the bird, Orlan relates his own difficulty in finding a new flat for his growing family. He plays guitar and sings in Spanish lying on the bed and smoking Hussein's roaches. Hussein finds spoiled milk in the refrigerator, cleans his apartment, and pressures a potential client to pay him a fifteen percent commission. That evening Hussain's brother Sunny (Kola Bokinni) visits and they talk about his brother's casting call as well as Hussein's willingness to eat bacon and breaking halal restrictions. Orlan takes Hussein's credit card information that night. The next day, Hussein does laundry and cleans his apartment when his girlfriend's phone call alerts Hussein that she has arrived at the terminal and he is not there for their rendezvous. Hussein leaves immediately, upset with himself. With Hussein out of the house, Orlan gargles and replaces the gargle from his mouth directly into the bottle and changes his pair of socks, leaving his used pair hidden under Hussein's bed. He stages a spill in the apartment and invites the two pigeons from the window inside. Hussein arrives home with Mel and she is immediately startled by the pigeons. Hussein shouts for a towel from the bathroom from which Mel has hidden her frightened self and shuts the door. The pigeons defecate on his La-Z Boy. Mel finds no food in Hussein's cupboard. She leaves to buy food at the market. She returns and prepares dinner. Hussein and Mel have a bit of a spat about paying for the food and she leaves him to shower before bed. Orlan can see into the bathroom from his hidden place under the bed. He unplugs a charging cell phone. The next morning Hussein brings Mel breakfast in bed. They are flirtatious and make plans for the day. Orlan pees in a bottle while they get frisky. The couple leaves for work. Orlan has a busy day, taking a bath and replacing the shampoo he uses with bleach, spits in Hussein's mouthwash, cuts the end of his necktie off and loses Hussein's diamond tie pin. He eats the leftover spaghetti from the night before. That night Orlan listens as Hussein cannot perform when Hussein and Mel try to make love. Mel blames it on the weed he smokes, but Hussein blames it on Mel's flat arse. The next day, Hussein says he feels sick. Orlan comes out of his slot between the walls and is nearly caught when Mel unexpectedly returns but Orlan is able to hide in the closet behind Mel's hanging clothing. Orlan blows his nose in Mel's panties. He ques up numerous gay porn movies on Mel's computer. Through the pigeons, Orlan relives how he and his wife gave notice when they were leaving their prior apartment and got "gazumped" or outbid when they had made a deposit on a new flat. When they return home, Mel and Hussein argue about his damaged tie, his phone lacking a charge and the porn on her computer. She asks who else is living in the flat. She also shows him her nickers that she thinks Hussein used for masturbation. That night, Orlan defecates in the toilet. Mel sees it and demands that Hussein flush the toilet. Hussein claims he never used the toilet. Mel discovers the entire contents of expensive shampoo bottle is gone. Hussein thinks Mel is bipolar. They argue to the point of breakup. Mel moves out when Hussein is at work that day. Over time, Orlan leaves his toenail clippings in Hussein's bed, pees on his silverware and uses his toothbrush on his ears and rear end. Hussein tells Sunny that he has a ghost, but Sony tells him he dodged a bullet with that girlfriend he had. Hussein brushes his teeth and readies himself one night, as Orlan is drugging his coffee, Hussein awakens to get some aspirin and Orlan has to crawl on top of Hussein's cupboard in order to avoid detections. Orlan then continues on his night of revenge, messing with the schedule on Hussein's phone and throwing all his toilet paper out the window. Feeling rather ill in the morning, Hussein promises to send his schedule to his employer. A freezer is delivered to Hussein's home that he did not order, yet it is billed to his credit card. Sunny visits with toilet paper but feels Hussein is ungrateful when Hussein complains the tissue is not the quilted for softness type. Sunny also will not share a joint because of Hussein's illness. Hussein tries to make up with Mel by leaving messages. Orlan sings "Strangers in the Night" when Hussein is absent. One night, Orlan cuts his hand and lifts Hussein bedcovers dripping blood so Hussein might believe he is bleeding from his rear end. He puts blood in the bath as well. Hussein reacts by calling the doctor believing he has cancer when his boss Jerry calls. Jerry states that he is going to give Hussein a warning for failing to deliver his schedule when he is ill. Meanwhile, Orlan is taking photos of his groin with Hussein's cell phone. Jerry arrives at Hussein's flat with the photos Orlan sent him. Hussein claims his phone was stolen, but just then Hussein's phone starts ringing, Hussein is fired. Hussein finds water running from all the taps in the house and his refrigerator left open. He confirms with Mel that she did not order the freezer with his credit card. Becoming increasingly paranoid about the security of his dwelling, Hussein slits his mattress and hires a locksmith to secure his door. Hussein sleeps sitting up armed with nunchucks and a knife. As Hussein sleeps, Orlan opens the refrigerator and awakens Hussein by throwing a teabag against his head. Hussein investigates but still finds nothing. As he reads the London laws on homeless people, Orlan recalls that with the baby three weeks from being due and the couple without a proper home. Orlan had set up a night in bed and breakfast for his wife but they had to go to the hospital as his wife did not feel well. Hussein had to explain to his mother why she got a photo of a penis and confirm to her he is not gay. Without a job, Hussein rarely leave the apartment and it deteriorates into a sordid mess. Hussein has a chronic cough and calls his parents to borrow money for his mortgage. Sunny delivers some marijuana and says his place looks like a crack house. Finally, when Hussein is half asleep on his bed, he drops the remote. When Hussein reaches for it, he touches Orlan's beard. Orlan comes out and corners Hussein in the bathroom. Orlan tells him how he lost the baby and his girlfriend all because he lost the flat that Hussein had promised him. Hussein said he was just doing his job and that he is instructed to hold out for the highest offer. Orlan locks Hussein in the freezer, tidies up the apartment, dresses in Hussein's clothes and leaves. Hussein calls his mother for help from the freezer.

Genre: Action   Comedy   Horror   Thriller