Miss Nobody

Year: 2010

Actors: Leslie Bibb, Missi Pyle, Barry Bostwick, Adam Goldberg

Duration: 92 min

Sarah Jane is an ordinary secretary at Judge Pharmaceutical. But she wants to be so much more, and her mother is pushing her to advance in her career. In a flashback, Sarah Jane is shown at a beauty pageant at her church as a young girl, something she participated in because her mother pushed her. Her father walks into the church loudly announcing he had divorced Sarah Jane's mother and causing quite a racket. But as he leaves, a statue of St. George falls on him, killing him. This is the first example of how Sarah Jane got what she wanted because she felt St. George was watching out for her. In another flashback, Frankie is Sarah Jane's boyfriend in high school, but he gets what he deserves when he mistreats her.Back in the present day, Sarah Jane applies for a junior executive position. She is still living with her mother in a boarding house where one of the residents is a senile old man named Mr. Ketchum. Sarah Jane cheats to get the job, encouraged to do so by her demanding mother and her best friend Charmaine, another secretary. She gets the job.However, when Sarah Jane has already moved some of her things into the office, she discovers Milo Beeber is there unloading his things. It seems Beeber was hired instead and Sarah Jane will be his secretary. Beeber had a better job but as he explains, he had no opportunity to advance. At Judge, he has a NEW JOB. No, that's an acronym. Beeber is referring to the executives who would have to retire or move to other jobs to allow him to advance. And he believes he does have the chance to move up. For one thing, he has worked on the drug Clarity, which helps elderly people with their mental abilities.Beeber takes Sarah Jane out to dinner and then invites her to his place. It is raining, so he is carrying an umbrella. She thinks they are getting romantic until he mentions texting his fiancee. But he is still interested in more than just work, saying he always has sex with his secretaries. While she is on a ladder that goes up to some high bookshelves, she pushes him away. He falls and the umbrella kills him. Knowing the police won't believe her, she leaves and says nothing.Sarah Jane returns to work and discovers that due to the unfortunate death of Beeber, she now has the job she expected to get. And now she has the information about Clarity, and the perfect person to test it on, Mr. Ketchum. Sarah Jane struggles with her first presentation to the other executives, but she is invited to the office her new boss Nan Wilder, who seems nice. But she knows , because Beeber was texting her that night and she knows what Sarah Jane did. She demands most of Sarah Jane's salary in exchange for her silence.While they are waiting for the subway, Sarah Jane bends over to get something, accidentally knocking Nan onto the tracks where she is immediately killed.Now Sarah Jane has Nan's job. Her secretary is an incompetent and lazy moron named L.J., but Charmaine's boss Pierre JeJeune is Sarah Jane's next obstacle. And Charmaine has messed up badly, so Pierre fires her. Sarah Jane doesn't want her best friend to be unemployed and she needs a good secretary, so she immediately hires Charmaine. As Pierre photocopies his rear end to send to someone else, Sarah Jane apparently sets off the sprinklers, electrocuting Wickham as the water hits the plugs of the various devices. And Sarah Jane is again promoted.Sarah Jane has a major presentation to make in front of executives of different companies. Morty has given the impression he will be friendly, but instead he makes Sarah Jane look like a moron in front of everyone. Morty's apartment blows up when there is a gas leak.Meanwhile, Sarah Jane is monitoring Mr. Ketchum's progress on various dosages of Clarity. But the boarding house has a new resident, Detective Bill Malloy, Malloy has done some terrible things but he is trying to get back his reputation, and he is given the assignment of investigating all these "accidents" involving Judge executives.Sarah Jane confesses to her priest Father Grisham, who is still at the same church after all these years. The Father assures her that she has done nothing wrong, and that her wishes for these people to die didn't cause anything (although by this time it appears Sarah Jane might have done something in one case). And Sarah Jane is getting messages from someone who knows what she did. She is also dating Malloy.Mr. Ketchum has a stroke as a result of the drugs he has been given. While she is at the hospital, Sarah Jane is having trouble breathing and is given an asthma inhaler. She is warned not to take aspirin while using the inhaler as that could have fatal results. Sarah Jane is aware that yet another executive who stands in her way, Leonard Ormsby, uses the same inhaler, so when she suspects him of blackmailing her, she puts aspirin in his water bottle. She gets rid of Joshua Nether by romancing him, making it look like he embezzled from the company, hiding the money and arranging for him to go on a trip to a country without extradition. And she kills him. But not before Malloy sees them together and thinks Sarah Jane is cheating on him.Mr. Ketchum eventually dies and everyone thinks so highly of him at the funeral. Sarah Jane sneaks Netter's body into the room where Mr. Ketchum's casket is and puts Netter and the money in the closed casket when it is ready to be buried.When the blackmailer demands the money that Netter supposedly embezzled, Sarah Jane goes to the cemetery and Charmaine reveals herself to be the blackmailer, and explains how she arranged for everything that happened. Charmaine tried to kill and bury Sarah Jane, But Sarah Jane gets away and chases Charmaine to the top of a bell tower, where Charmaine falls to her death.The police think Charmaine was responsible for everything, and Sarah Jane is off the hook. L.J. is once again her secretary and one of his jobs is to replace her bottle of water. When he does, he uses one that belonged to Ormsby. Sarah Jane realizes this after she drinks from that bottle, but what happens next is not known.

Genre: Comedy   Crime