Family Guy Something, Something, Something, Dark Side

Year: 2009

Actors: Dolph Lundgren, James Caan, Mila Kunis, Tom Selleck

Duration: 44 min

The saga continues where Blue Harvest left off. This is the family guy take on The Empire Strikes Back.It starts out with the family watching tv and the power gets cut. So Peter(Seth macfarlane) is forced to tell a second Star Wars story. And so the movie begins with the classic Star Wars text: A long time ago...(a bit altered of course) followed by the written intro Family guy style.After the intro, the picture keeps hanging and is moving down focusing on the star destroyer below, exactly like in the original movie. Then you see the droides being deployed, one of the droides of that little boy(Boy Elrond or something) from The Jetsons(old Hanna Barbara cartoon) and the music changes to their theme song for a second. The droide landing/crashing on the ice planet Hoth, is Joe swanson(Patrick warburton). and is his only cameo during the episode.Luke/Chris(Seth green) watches the impact, and contacts Han/Peter(Seth macfarlane) over the walkie telling him he wants to check it out. Again just like the original, only here Han solo insists on being called Carlo Spicywiener over the radio insted of Han. Luke/Chris is then attacked by the snow monster, or in this case the Cookie monster, whom is filling out that part. the picture changes into Han/Peter returning to base, immediately telling Lois/Leia(Alex borstein) he is getting out of there and that she can have his email adress. They argue a bit, George Takei shows up quickly. And the the picture changes to R2D2/cleveland(Mike Henry) and 3po/Glen(Seth macfarlane) walking over to Han/Peter to inform him that Luke/Chris have not yet returned.Han/Peter then takes his "don don"(a parodi on a older comedian, cant remember his name) to go search for Luke/Chris, whom has been captured by the Snow/Cookie monster and is hanging upside down in its cave. Luke/Chris uses the force to get his lightsaber and cuts himself down, the monster attacks and Luke/Chris cuts of its arm in the process, again like in the original, but with some Fam guy changes.(Cookie monster runs of crying)Luke/Chris is then lying in the snow and gets a vision of Obi wan/Herbert(not sure who does the voice) telling him among other things, he needs to go to the dagobah system to meet Yoda and finish his jedi training. Han/Peter appears trough the fog and keeps Luke/Chris warm by cutting up his "don don", like in the original. Only here some other elderly comedian shows up to make a quick joke about dagobah, and Han/Peter takes about 45 seconds to complete the sentence: I thought they smelled bad on the outside.The next morning they are rescued by a group of fighters searching for them, again almost a replica of the original scene. followed by Han/Peter (or Carlo Spicywiener if you will) joining up with some hip youngsters to do a quick Juicy Fruit(some chewinggum) commercial. Back on the base, while Luke/Chris is getting medical attention. Han/Peter continues to taunt Leia/Lois, and ends up knocking her out for calling him a "nerfhyrde" or something.The impiriel theme starts to blast, and the first thing you see is DarthVader/Stevie smashing Leonard nimoy´s postbox with a bat, (its floating outside the window of the star destroyer) He discovers the rebels on the hoth system, and order the fleet there. Back on the rebel base Brian/Chewie(Seth macfarlane) and Han/Peter say goodbye to each other. The empire arrives at Hoth and James woods comes to inform Vader/stevie, that the rebels are aware of their arrivel. Like in the original, Vader/stevie chokes the admiral and promotes captain Piet to admiral insted. Piet then askes if he can have business cards with his new title, followed by a little stormtrooper joke.Leia/Lois informs the pilots its time to go and tells them that even though theres infinite way to flee into space, she has chosen to go directly trough to blockade of star destroyers, follwed by a clever remark from one of the pilots. The first ship gets trough the blockade helped by the "giant boob niple gun" Luke/Chris runs to his fighter and the co-pilot(Dak) tells him he feels like he could take on the whole empire himself, and actually gives it a shot, being blown out of the sky immediately by the first star destroyer he meets.The impiriel walkers begins their approach, and with the first shot comes the famous "wilhelm scream" (a very known very effictive scream used in ALOT of movies, recorded back in the 50´s) The attack on Hoth is pretty much like in the original, both visually and dialog exept for Consuella the cleaning lady(ref. to an earlier episode of FG) showing up bothering the H out of Vader/stevie, while he is trying to give some orders over the hologram, the one walker falls on its knee going AHH(again FG ref. from ealier episodes), Luke/Chris shoots worms in the butt of a walker(like a dog would get worms), a walker wearing pink shoes, one of them is pregnant, and Luke/Chris tries to get roadside assistence for his crashed fighter.Han/Peter have to come back to Leia/Lois in the command center of the base, because he forgot the keys to the milliniumfalken hanging on the wall, a speaker voice tells them impiriel troops have entered base, and they need to leave. Vader/stevie enters the command center followed by snow-troopers, one of them is going out dancing afterwards, so he is wearing a charming see-trough no-sleeve shirt. Vader/stevie then tells the snow-trooper its been ages since he been out dancing, it was on Alderan, it was that long ago.Luke/Chris heads for the dagobah system, but not before going to R2D2/clevelands niece´s violin recytle. Han/Peter, Chewie/Brian, Leia/Lois and 3po/Glen are trying to outrun the empire, bring´in a little car-chase parodi with the speaker-voice from COPS or something added. they head for the astroide field followed by a strawberry-fields joke(The Beatles) an evades the Thaifighters chasing them, hiding in what appears to be an empty cave(with a handicapped parking only sign) Han/Peter informs the others that he has "Vertigo" and its a real medical condition, and is hanging a handicapped sign in his windshield. Han/Peter then does a small video-diary(like a big brother house) and we go to Luke/Chris approaching dagobah.Luke/Chris lands/crashes in the swamp on dagobah, but not before a little parodi on a infomerciel for some insurrence company shows up in the swamp, and a small visit form legion of doom is quickly seen. Yoda/Carl(H. jon Benjamin) shows up to learn our young hero about the ways of the force. Which in this case is about deeper movie knowledge.Back on the star destroyer Vader/stevie continues to get pested by Consuella the cleaning lady, telling him she needs windex to clean windows with. He goes to speak with The Emporer/Carter Pewtersmith(Seth macfarlane) who wants to know if Vader/stevie wants some of his old cd´s, as he is downloading them to his ipod, and by the way tells him he has to turn Luke/Chris skywalker to the darkside. which he dosn´t think is a problem, hel´l just show him their recrutement-video.Back on dagobah, Luke/Chris is completting his training, helped by the montage from Rocky 4. Our other heroes is still in the cave on the astroide, after while they understand that it is not a cave(the evil monkey from Chris´s closet appear quickly inside the belly) and they barely escapes. And here where Meg´s cameo comes(she is the big monster they where hiding in) with a small complaint the she never gets any lines in the specials, the ship then comes back saying: Shut up Meg and the scene changes back to dagobah.Luke/Chris and Yoda/Carl does a little movie brush up, Luke/Chris then enters the cave and fights what appears to be Vader and then himself and does the song My little buttercup(dont know the artist) in a duet with the head he cut of.On the star destroyer Vader/stevie meets with the bountyhunters, Bobba Fett/The Giant Chicken included of course. Han/Peter tries the lightspeed once more, as they are know being chase closely by the impire, and it doesn´t work. Insted they move to attack position, and the scene plays out pretty much as in the original movie. Only here the impiriel admiral is eating cake, and Leia/Lois gets mocked for her voice.The milliniumfalken hides on a star destroyer and when the garbage shoots out the try to escape unnoticed, the promnight dumbster baby appears quickly (ref. to a earlier episode) and there is some "spacebumbs" going thru the garbage, but besides that the scene are the same as in the original. The agree to head for Thesbian where Han/Peter has a friend named Lando/Mort(John G. Brennan) and he´s infact the only afro american in the galaxy according to Han/Peter. Chewie/Brian comes with a quick but unlucky comment on that (again ref. to earlier FG) -they hit one of the "spacebumbs" and leaves in a hurry.On dagobah Luke/Chris gets TWO visions, one where he sees Yoda/Carl´s exwife draining his bank account and running of with a realestate agent. And the other where he sees his freinds in trouble in the city in the clouds. Yoda/Carl then tells him that only a fully trained jedi can defeat Vader/Stevie, Luke/Chris then asks why he dosn´t go insted? To that Yoda/Carl repleys: okay i guess youre ready to fight Vader.The milliniumfalken lands on Thesbyen, Han/Peter introduces everybody but forgets 3po´s name. 3po then finds an outlet store ans gets torn to pieces while trying to buy a pair of cargo shorts( he says)Vader/Stevie ambushes them at the dinnerhall, pretty much like in the original. And Han/Peter gets a laugh out of the giant chicken being Bobba fett, they proceed to the torture of Han/Peter. Which in this case consiste of some very annoying popmusic(dont know the singer) and Han/Peter starts to cry immediately. They move on to the "freeze room" and Han/Peter says goodbye to his freinds Family guy style, and is frozen in karbonite with his butt naked.Luke/Chris who arrives at Thesbyen, sudently find himself on the American idol stage for a brief moment, kills the host and is immediately confronted by Vader/Stevie, whom is telling him he is not a jedi yet, but he´s getting there. Appart from som rules being discussed and some funny comments on the way, the fight is pretty much as in the original. Untill Vader/Stevie tells him that he is infact Luke/Chris´s father, and offers not only to share power of the empire, but also that they sleep together on occasiones.Leia/Lois, Chewie/Brian, R2D2/cleveland, Lando/Mort and 3po/Glen all try to save Han/Peter, but is to late. followed by a remark by 3po saying: even though we know exactly where Han is going, lets wait 3 years before saving him. R2D2/Cleveland works his magic on the female droide controlling the door, and they escape. Followed by two annoyid stormtroopers, who are very much in doubt that they ever hit anything they shoot at.Luke/Chris drops down through the ventalation system and is confronted by a man who appears to have his hand stuffed down his pants, he then drops again and is hanging below the city. Broken and beaten he calls out for Tom selleck, when that didnt work he then calls out for Leia/Lois. And to the beat of some homewritten disco they quickly turn the ship around and saves Luke/Chris. Still followed by Vader/Stevie´s star destroyer, the milliniumfalken switch to lightspeed and escapes completly. Vader/Stevie then punishes his employee for not turning on the tractorbeam fast enough, by choking whats between his legs.On the rebel base ship the good guys are safe, Chewie/Brian and Lando/Mort is preparing to go out and save Han/Peter, from Jabbas palace. Lando/Mort is sudently wearing Han/Peter´s close, and Chewie/Brian gets a little freaked out. Luke/Chris gets a new hand and is adviced to "practice on a hotdog first"Then comes the fade out, which is interrupted by Luke/Chris asking: can it really end like this, with so many questions answered. The guy from Back To The Future part 2 with the letter at the end, shows up and gives Luke/Chris the exact letter Marty Macfly(Micheal J. Fox) recives at the end of Back To The Future part 2. Telling him that the doc is allright and is trapped in 1895. Luke/Chris then shouts out: HE´S ALIVE, he in the old west BUT HE`S ALIVE. The music is now the theme from Back To The Future, and it ends with the exact same letters frem that movie: To be concluded.Back on spooner st. Peter and Chris discuss Robot Chicken for ten seconds, Chris get pissed. The end.

Genre: Action   Animation   Comedy